This past weekend I attended the "Korean Queer Culture Festival" (Pride) in Seoul. It was a lovely time and though it was small, I have to say, I was impressed with the effort, turnout, and spirit of the entire event; it really was a refreshing, colorful public face in this all too black and white society. I usually write here about my travels, amazing food, all of the 10,000 things I do love about this place, but with the festival in mind, I thought I should devote one of my last two blogs to drawing a wider picture of Korean reality. So, before I put on my rose-colored glasses and skip and sniffle my way to August 1st with kimchi and makkoeli in hand, here is a more complete picture of what's happening here...
Considering this post was partly inspired by Seoul Pride, let's begin with the reality of gay life in Korea. First, take a look at the picture above. Most of the things there are souvenirs from the weekend. (The only thing that's not is the "18 Above", which was a government restriction for the Lady Gaga concert I went to.) I did take quite a few photos, but I won't post any of them here. The photo pass you see allowed me to take pictures at the event, but it is required/requested that photos with anyone's face in them not be used for anything other than personal reasons. The reason for this? If someone was spotted in a picture online, let's say by their parents or boss, it could quite literally ruin their lives. They could: be disowned, fired, lose their scholarship, etc. etc. For a brief overview of gay rights/life in Korea check this blog. For a gay high-school student's story, see here. They aren't very uplifting articles, but don't worry, it's not all gloom and doom. The community is small, but there is a good scattering of bars and clubs and a few supportive organized groups that are advocating and working for change. Pride, which has experienced constant growth, is an excellent example of the hope and love that is pushing on.
Considering this post was partly inspired by Seoul Pride, let's begin with the reality of gay life in Korea. First, take a look at the picture above. Most of the things there are souvenirs from the weekend. (The only thing that's not is the "18 Above", which was a government restriction for the Lady Gaga concert I went to.) I did take quite a few photos, but I won't post any of them here. The photo pass you see allowed me to take pictures at the event, but it is required/requested that photos with anyone's face in them not be used for anything other than personal reasons. The reason for this? If someone was spotted in a picture online, let's say by their parents or boss, it could quite literally ruin their lives. They could: be disowned, fired, lose their scholarship, etc. etc. For a brief overview of gay rights/life in Korea check this blog. For a gay high-school student's story, see here. They aren't very uplifting articles, but don't worry, it's not all gloom and doom. The community is small, but there is a good scattering of bars and clubs and a few supportive organized groups that are advocating and working for change. Pride, which has experienced constant growth, is an excellent example of the hope and love that is pushing on.
Moving on to other aspects of love and marriage, I must mention the ever-growing number of SE Asian women here who have married Korean men, whether by their or their family's choice, for economic or personal reasons. Two main factors have lead to this influx of Philippino, Vietnamese, Thai, and other SE Asian women. The first is the economic status of rural Korean men and Korean women's expectations for marriage. Basically, the vast majority of Koreans head to the city to work in business, make good money, live the bali bali life that is Korea (more on that in a minute). The majority of Korean women want to marry a man who makes good money and has some status. As a result, it's very hard for men in rural areas, mostly farmers, to find Korean wives. So, instead of marrying a Korean, they get a mail-order bride or make some other similar marriage arrangement. The second factor in this situation then is the economic reality of SE Asian women. It may come as a surprise to some of you, but Korea is a top destination for a higher quality of life in Asia. You can read more about it here. This situation is complicated by the fairly open racism and discrimination Korean's have for "darker skinned" people; an issue I don't care to discuss here.
Ok, now back to that bali bali lifestyle. Economically Korea might be prospering and technology might be on the cutting edge, but recently the OECD ranked Korea 24th of 36th for "Quality of Life". Bali bali means fast or quickly in Korean and after two years here I can safely say things do move at an amazing pace. Honestly, I thought the US was bad, then I came here. Everyone here is constantly busy and it begins as early as kindergarten. The pressure to excel and obtain high test scores begins in elementary school and only increases as private academies, entrance tests, language tests, and academic competitions pile on. The pressure continues to increase with age. The biggest moment is perhaps the college entrance exam, which basically determines your future. After that, you should excel through college and then enter the highly competitive job market, get married by about thirty, get a flat, have children, and well, you get the point. Of course this is generalizing, but in such a highly homogeneous and concentrated society, generalizations go pretty far. The part I find the saddest about the high focus on academic performance and test scores, is the imbalance of life . Sports, art, and music aren't high priorities and hobbies are unheard of. If Korean people have a "hobby" it is usually for social networking and prestige. Instead of trying to give you a history lesson on how Korean society developed into this, I'll recommend this article. It interviews a handful of Koreans and is a bit long, but it does an excellent job of giving some insight into the reality of Korean life. I know a few dozen Koreans who could easily be substituted for every person in the article.
Lastly, what do they do with all this stress? Highly unfortunately, it comes out for kids in the form of bullying and suicide and for adults, particularly men, in a lot of binge drinking. I lost my link to a great article on Korean drinking culture, but lets just say it is a dangerous combination of social custom and stress release. When approached in a mild way it is great fun, but when it's forced and overused, as it is in many company cultures, it seems to have a wearing affect on the men who must take part and their families sitting at home.
Reflecting on my personal experiences and "interviews", I would say I think this culture is beginning to and will slowly change. All of the 20-35 year-olds that I've discussed Korean society and particularly education with want change. They want to slow down, enjoy life a bit more, and create a more enjoyable life for their kids. Change is slow, but maybe in 15 or 20 years it will be quite different here...
Writing all of this out feels a bit scathing, so I'll remind you, I'm not meaning to bash Korean culture or point fingers - God knows my own (and every) country and culture are chocked full of issues. This post is just meant to give a wider picture of life on the ground. Alrighty, I'll be back here in a month or so, gushing about Korean food, reminiscing about all of my travels and the lovely individuals I've met, flaunting pictures of beach parties, and choking back a few sobs...
